In many ways, being Episcopalian makes parenting in the pew easier than other denominations. Our service has a lot of elements, many places where we actively participate, and plenty of moving around. Children can be a part of all of this from an early age.
Early or non-readers can still be very active participants. When my children were little, they would stand on the pew next to us, or on the kneeler, and we would put our arms around them for the standing up parts of the service. I always used my finger to follow along in the prayer book, leaflet, and/or hymnal so they could connect what was happening to the words on the page. As they became literate enough to find things in the hymnal/prayer book, we began having the girls mark the hymns in the hymnal and mark the prayer book for the service before it began. We have the service in the leaflet now, but it helps to have them look for where we will be singing, and mark the hymns ahead of time. You can also point out the hymn boards as a way to quickly identify the hymns that are coming up. As soon as they were readers, our children liked to hold their own hymnal and have their own leaflets. We encouraged them to follow along with their finger, or to hold our finger and point to the line where we were. This helped them to stay engaged with the service.
Prompts about what is coming next in the service help children to look forward to what is happening. Reminding them to get the hymnal ready, or that we are getting ready to say a prayer they know (Lord’s Prayer, Nicene Creed) usually gets children interested in what is happening. The more they participate, the more familiar all of the parts of the service will be. This familiarity enables them to follow along even when they don’t realize they are!
To teach our children to pay attention to sermons, we started by asking them to listen for particular words. As they got older, we would ask questions about the sermon after church every week. Once they realized this was coming, they learned to pay more attention – and so did we! Gradually, they began to ask questions of us that prompted some interesting family discussions. We always acknowledged that some sermons are more interesting than others, and sometimes it really is hard to pay attention (something this preacher is keenly aware of!). We also told them that the preacher is trying to connect the scriptures to our lives in a way that helps us to follow Jesus. It may not always work for us, but we are often reminded of something important. Being respectful of their preparation and actively listening is not only polite; it can also make an impact on our lives!
Above all, considering worship a time for family togetherness when we are all focusing on the same thing (God!) is what really makes a difference for us. We are breathing at the same time when we say the same prayers, and that corporate worship pulls us closer together in ways we can’t even comprehend today.
Early or non-readers can still be very active participants. When my children were little, they would stand on the pew next to us, or on the kneeler, and we would put our arms around them for the standing up parts of the service. I always used my finger to follow along in the prayer book, leaflet, and/or hymnal so they could connect what was happening to the words on the page. As they became literate enough to find things in the hymnal/prayer book, we began having the girls mark the hymns in the hymnal and mark the prayer book for the service before it began. We have the service in the leaflet now, but it helps to have them look for where we will be singing, and mark the hymns ahead of time. You can also point out the hymn boards as a way to quickly identify the hymns that are coming up. As soon as they were readers, our children liked to hold their own hymnal and have their own leaflets. We encouraged them to follow along with their finger, or to hold our finger and point to the line where we were. This helped them to stay engaged with the service.
Prompts about what is coming next in the service help children to look forward to what is happening. Reminding them to get the hymnal ready, or that we are getting ready to say a prayer they know (Lord’s Prayer, Nicene Creed) usually gets children interested in what is happening. The more they participate, the more familiar all of the parts of the service will be. This familiarity enables them to follow along even when they don’t realize they are!
To teach our children to pay attention to sermons, we started by asking them to listen for particular words. As they got older, we would ask questions about the sermon after church every week. Once they realized this was coming, they learned to pay more attention – and so did we! Gradually, they began to ask questions of us that prompted some interesting family discussions. We always acknowledged that some sermons are more interesting than others, and sometimes it really is hard to pay attention (something this preacher is keenly aware of!). We also told them that the preacher is trying to connect the scriptures to our lives in a way that helps us to follow Jesus. It may not always work for us, but we are often reminded of something important. Being respectful of their preparation and actively listening is not only polite; it can also make an impact on our lives!
Above all, considering worship a time for family togetherness when we are all focusing on the same thing (God!) is what really makes a difference for us. We are breathing at the same time when we say the same prayers, and that corporate worship pulls us closer together in ways we can’t even comprehend today.